Mother's Day Dos and Don'ts

First of all, I’m not a Mother – at least not to tiny humans.  If fur people count, Motherhood has been my blessing for sure.  Of course we all “mother” to some extent (whether male or female) but Mother as a noun and not a verb is what we reflect upon this time of year. 

People ask me all the time “do you have any kids?”   Bad Question – I always answer “Not that I know of.”  That answer always brings a wrinkly forehead to the questioner.  Of course there were those somewhat unremembered days in the 60’s, but I digress.  It’s not polite to ask that question.  People usually ask because they want to tell you about their kids, grandkids, great grandkids.  I actually inherited a few grandkids when I married my husband but that doesn’t really count.  Motherhood and/or Grandmotherhood  is more in the “being” than the “doing.” 

My role model for a Mother is my wonderful friend Annie.  She’s my morning walk buddy.  For the last six or seven years (I’ve lost count) we walk every single morning.  We start out at 6:00 a.m. and walk my dogs (she doesn’t have any.)  We discuss politics, crime, relatives, dog poop…we sing songs, reminisce about earlier times and laugh a lot.  We’re probably a tad loud because neighbors have asked me “what in heaven’s name could possibly be so funny to cackle about at Odark30?”  The answer, I guess, is life.  Annie has 7 children that she knows of…and many grandchildren and great grandchildren (I’ve kind of lost track, they just keep coming.)  She’s outlived two husbands that she dearly loved and Annie loves her kids, all of them.  Some make her crazy from time to time but it doesn’t matter, she’s THE MOM.  I listen but I don’t presume or comment.  I learned a long time ago you don’t ever advise a MOM on how to raise or handle her kids, no matter what “pearl of wisdom” you think you must provide.  In turn, Annie doesn’t tell me how to handle my dogs or cats or husband either.  It’s all good!  I listen to the wonderful stories about Annie’s kids and I remember my own childhood.  I marvel at how Moms survive all the drama, disappointment and stress.  I guess it’s the laughter and love and tears of joy that sustain. 

This Mother’s Day, tell the Moms you know how much you admire them.  Don’t ask females you’ve just met if they have any kids (they’ll tell you in good time if they do.)  Kiss your Mom if she’s still with you and remember what a snotty little brat you were and how much she had to …I’ve digressed again.  Let her know how much you love her.   Posies and chocolates are nice but don’t “hold a candle” to some honest affection and admiration and please don’t leave out the hugs. 

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, tiny human and fur people Moms alike!  We love you all.  

New Dog In Town!

All my friends know that Annie (my neighbor down the street, who is 85 years old this year and spry as a Spring chicken) and I walk my dogs every morning.  Annie is on my porch at 6:00 a.m. (which we refer to as O'Dark'30) and you can set your watch by it. We've been doing this for years now.  This keeps us both in shape and accountable to each other.  We walk 7 days a week, unless it's raining.  Each day is a new adventure for us.  We never know what to expect.  There is all manner of nocturnal life moving about at that hour.  We've had a few unusual encounters.

A few weeks ago, as we were getting everyone leashed up on the front porch, an additional nose was poking through the porch gate.  It seems that all stray dogs in my neighborhood show up at my house at some point because they are attracted to my Great Pyrenees, Dyna.  She's sort of the matriarch of the hood.  So, that didn't surprise me much.  Annie arrived and we started our walk with the new dog,  Our new guest didn't have any tags at all.  That's unusual.  When they do, we call the "parents" and escort them home.  "Buddy" which we began calling him, seemed perfectly content to just walk with us, enjoying our normal early morning frivolity.  When we returned, all the dogs headed inside for their morning breakfast - including Buddy.  He was not interested in going anywhere else. 

I posted flyers, checked the websites, called the neighbors and took Buddy to the vet to scan for chips.  Nothing.  A neighbor mentioned seeing someone let a dog out of a van in the early morning and the dog looked confused and afraid.  He thought it looked like our Buddy.  As a Realtor in this market in our times of economic downturn and confusion, I see a lot of animals abandoned.  Cats left in vacant homes to fend for themselves, dogs left chained in yards with no food or water.  Now some families who can no longer care for their pets have been dropping them off in good neighborhoods, hoping some family will adopt them.  The shelters have reduced the time between drop off and euthanaisa, which is also sad, but I digress. 

Anyway, Buddy has decided that I'm his new Mama.  He's a true "Heinz 57" variety pup.  Looks like a cross between a Beagle, a Dalmation with maybe a bit of Lab or Setter.  He has these big liquid brown eyes that follow you everywhere. He wags his tail as soon as you turn your head toward him. He gets along with all the animals, including my three recently adopted cats.  You can leave the gates or doors open and he justs sits down and waits for someone to notice.  He's moved in!  If you or someone you know has lost this wonderful dog, please let me know.  Otherwise, I guess three dogs and three cats are still manageable.   Buddy seems to be a special messenger that has chosen our family and me in particular, for which I feel very blessed.  My friend Ray, who is an artist, painted a beautiful painting which is hung in my office.  It's called The Messenger.  Ray says, sometimes in life we are the message and sometimes we are the messenger...makes sense. 

Charlie Hoffmann (Mother of six furry children)
Team South Bay Realty